Before starting writing this post, I looked up an English word for “Konen-ki” , which is you feel something different physically after you hit 40. Yes, the web dictionary says it’s “menopause”! and I found it also showed the word “the change” for it. Is it a common word? Anyway I’ve been wondering that I’ve reached to that stage gradually. For example, I feel fatigue on every weekend, I can’t be rested in despite of 10 hours sleep, feel dizzy when I move my head quickly, sometimes so hot but next time I feel chill….I can’t say exactly but sometimes different inside of me. This Sunday, I spent almost all day on a sofa. Tatsu said to me ‘You are living in the 1D world!” . Ah, exactly. I didn’t want even to crawl. No headache, no fever, no pains, but just fatigued. I’ve never felt that way ever. After having a 1D life for a whole day, then I felt better and I could go to work normally today. But maybe I will feel the same on next weekend.
In this 4 months, my life has changed a lot. I started working 4 months ago, and I’ve become adjusted to my surroundings, I guess. At least I’ve been trying so hard. And exhausted. It’s tough to teach English to kids after I got back from work. They are so lovely, and energetic. It’s fun to spend time with them. That is, I live in two completely different world in one day. It’s tough.
I could quit either one. But I wonder how long I could keep working in my company as a clerk. What if I was dismissed, how could I find a new job? That’s why I don’t quite teaching English. And I have a dream to make the kids who never knew English before understand and enjoy learning English.
Maybe, more 3 months, it will make me feel better, and fit myself into my two jobs much more.
I thank all the people I relate because you are so supportive and helpful while I’m struggling. Thank you so much.